The Path.

I was having a chat with someone recently about career paths and life paths.

They were under the impression that most people do in fact have a linear path… And that the most successful people (their impression of “successful” people, anyway) have a natural progression of roles and responsibilities.

“You would never take a job as an SEO strategist at this stage in your career,” they said to me, when I said that sometimes to move ahead one has to think about things in a different context.

I didn’t say anything to them in response.

But what I wanted to say was, “Oh Jesus. I’ve taken intentional steps back for fucking sure. Many times. I’d be an executive at the highest level at a big holding company if I’d allowed myself to stay stressed and burnt out at a job I had 10 years ago.”

We’ve all heard that success is defined by the individual, and that the path isn’t linear.

But what do those things actually mean???

Well, here is a little about me and my path. I decided to ask myself some questions. And yes, I see myself as successful. But maybe not for the reasons you might think.

1. What was your first adult-life job? (The one where you largely had to provide for yourself and/or family.) It was my first job after university. I was no longer financially supported by my parents. I worked in promotions producing at a TV station here in Tucson. And I was miserable. I had a terrible, skeevy boss. The women on my team were catty as fuck, and didn’t like that young person who wouldn’t kiss their ass was on the team. (My predecessor had been a huge ass-kisser. And they loved her.) They were snide to me. And my boss would try to find any excuse to come into my office and chat with me, not about work things. Always wanting to know about my personal life. While I didn’t ever feel harassed, I felt like he was asking inappropriate questions. So I would keep my answers short and clipped. (This was another reason the other women loathed me, I could sense. When he wanted to talk to me, he’d come into my office. When he wanted to talk to them, he’d have them come into his.) I often found ways to do my job not in my office. I’d be in an editing booth. Or in the control room. Or even the newsroom. He would get annoyed that I wasn’t in my office. After doing that role for about six months, I quit. And a few months later moved to NYC.
2. What challenges did you have early in your career that helped shape you into the leader you are today? I always had underpaid jobs that lots of people would want. And not only would these jobs attract a small pay (because so many people wanted them), but they also attracted super bitchy people. Competitive people. So I spent quite a bit of time the first few years intimidated – especially after moving to NYC – and crying in the bathroom at work. At least once a day, when I worked at The Evil Empire. That place attracted the most Type-A aggressive people. Brilliantly talented people. But people who were blunt intentionally to cut you down. Eventually, I found my back bone and learned how to anticipate the bitchiness… And not let it get to me in the moment. But working in these types of environments (with low pay) pushed me to be detailed with my work ethic, and also not give a fuck when deciding to walk away. The world doesn’t end if you fail or are stressed by a place. And my goal is always to keep the flow of stressful energy in my work environment (for me and my team) manageable. It exists. But it’s up to the leader to keep it balanced.
3. What big risks have you taken in your life and/or career that helped propel you forward? Were they successful? What did you learn from them regardless of the outcome? Quitting my life a few times and changing things completely. The first time was when I quit TV news and moved to NYC. That led me to meeting my husband, and getting the chance to work at what was my dream company – The Evil Empire. Then when I quit my role at The Evil Empire, moved to Boston with my fiancé.. that’s when I got into digital marketing. And then when I quit a job after my divorce and decided to travel around the world… I definitely felt like I was taking a risk each time. Who knew if I could get back what I was leaving? But I learned that risk-taking is respected. Intriguing. Especially when you can articulate the why and what you learned.
4. Have you ever made lateral career moves, or even taken a step back (financially or positionally) in order to to grow? Oh hell yes. MANY TIMES. After I traveled around the world, moved to San Diego, I was looking for a job in the market. I knew it wasn’t likely that I would find one at the level I had left at the holding company. But I took a job as an SEO Director – a role I’d had eight years earlier – just to get myself in the market. I quickly took on more and more responsibility because my boss knew my experience. And I appreciated the opportunity. My role now is a version of a lateral role. It’s covering off an area I didn’t oversee at my last job. But it is giving me exposure to new challenges. And that’s what I wanted most, and why I left my last company. It’s not that I wasn’t challenged. It’s that I wanted to be solving different problems.
5. How do you give junior and mid-level employees the opportunity to be visible to you and other senior leaders in the organization? I do 121s… Skip-levels. At least quarterly, if not more frequently. And I ask questions that allow me to dig into their frustrations and what they don’t want to be doing. And of course what they do like doing. And I let them know my calendar is always open for them to view, and for them to book time as they desire. Honestly, if they wanted a weekly 121 with me, and there was time on my calendar, I had no problem with them booking time into it. If it made them feel secure and that someone cared about their progress, why would I not allow it? I’m always surprised by my colleagues who don’t allow it.
6. How do you develop leaders in your organization? How do you determine who has potential to be a leader? I look at how they engage with me in 121s. Are they asking questions? What kind of questions? Are they just about money and growth? Or are they bringing up subject matter questions involving their area? And are they just coming to me with problems without giving some thought to what they want the solution to be? Or do they have an idea of what they want the solution to be, and how to get there? Are they delegating enough? Are they listening and collaborating with others? Do they understand the importance of putting in place best practices and business structure to make the business run smoothly? Or are they always complaining about meetings and time sheets? (Just an example.)
7. What do you think is the most critical thing for a new leader in an organization to do in order to be successful in that role? I’m new to my current organization. And I’ve been the new leader a few times in my career. Six times in the past 11 years, actually. And I can tell you the key is to not be a tornado. Don’t come in and start swirling around and changing things. Take time (a few months, usually) to understand how things are working as you come on board. Then start to collaborate on solutions. Even if you already know what you want to change and how… You need to have buy-in on the shifts. So presenting problems as something to be solved together will help transitions be more smooth, and even be a way to coach others as you change them.
8. Do you ever feel like you don’t know what you’re doing? If so, how transparent are you about that with those with whom you work? I never know what I’m doing. I told someone recently (a date) that I never know where I am going in life. I’m just excited about the journey. The day-to-day. I mean, I have goals in mind. But even before they’re achieved, I want to know where I am going afterwards. And I tell everyone this that I work with.
9. How comfortable are you with “public failure,” and do you think it comes with the territory of being a leader? I’d like to think I am very comfortable. But maybe I don’t share my failures quite as well as the successes? Let’s just say… I’ve failed a fuck-tonne (notice the metric spelling of the word – it’s larger). A FUCK-TONNE! I just don’t let it hold me back though. And I am open about it with people. It’s how life works. Nothing is ever smooth. And if you don’t purge the stress – especially that which comes with setbacks – and just keep it in… Then you are probably doing damage to your body in some way… Mentally, energetically, physically… Who knows how it will manifest?
10. Because we never stop growing or evolving, what do you see as your next journey/initiative on your career path? I’m struggling with this. I don’t know. I don’t really feel an urge to travel. My house is 99% done (just a front yard to decide what to do with). And I’m happy with my current role of running the operations of client services at the agency where I work. But a lot of my big journey steps have come on suddenly in life. they weren’t ever really planned for. Not to any great extent. So I guess for now, all I can say is I am focused on getting through the rest of this pandemic… Grateful I can work from home. That I have a brilliant pup. And that other than to see my family or go to yoga, there isn’t any reason for me to ever leave my house. But once all of this crazy pandemic stuff is finally over (I predict next Spring), I am sure I will have a new journey/focus. Maybe it will be travel? Maybe it will be starting my own business? Maybe marriage? Maybe a second dog? Who the fuck knows? Not me.